I never stopped loving the love of my life. No matter how many nights I sleep alone, and how many nights I dream of her, her face never fades. It will never fade from my memory; she is a scar that will never heal. I will be burned for life, and all those who look upon my face will see the shame and endless torture that her love has brought me. I will sleep alone tonight, and I will dream of her, again. It will be a nightmare, as all thoughts about her are nightmares now. What was once a dream had turned sour by my own hand; my malice, my greed, my jealousy drove her away, and that love what she bore became ash in my heart, as I spat it back out at her. I am talking of course about the wonderful and very pragmatic love that I had from the portable car battery. I love her too, in my own way. I know that my own way was not normal and really not healthy. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I feared such hurt myself that I lashed out. I will never take another jump starter for the rest of my days, and my car will remain in my driveway, as it has done for the past 6 years. It will be another 6 years before I am ready it move on with my life, but I have a feeling that when I do, it will be with the blessing of the Gods, who have watched over me since I started attending the meetings. There are so very many though, and I love to read all the books on my recovery. I also love to go to shop windows and just dream about getting my own battery pack once again. I don’t know if I deserve it, but I only have one life.